• 19
  • September
    2011

On this blog, we usually discuss the strictly legal elements of family law matters. But of course, family law decisions like divorces and child custody arrangements entail far more factors that just legal considerations. When making these important life calls, people need to gauge their own moral compasses and codes of conduct as well.

Of course, that is always a difficult task, since moral and ethical dilemmas are very rarely cut-and-dried, as Pat Robertson is finding out. Robertson, the conservative Christian minister, made waves among family law practitioners and ethicists alike recently when he advised a caller to his television program that divorce would be okay if a spouse is in the final stages of Alzheimer's and can no longer offer companionship.

Specifically, Robertson told the caller that the caller's friend "should divorce (his wife) and start all over again, but...make sure she has custodial care, somebody looking after her." He rationalized his decision by saying that marriage vows are dissoluble by death and that Alzheimer's is a sort of death, since it marks the end of the person known to others and the start of someone with a new personality and diminished memories of the past.

Many other Christian leaders reacted with surprised to Robertson's apparent endorsement of divorce. A spokesman for the Alzheimer's Association declined to speak specifically about Robertson's comments, but did say that as far as she knows, it is rare for people to get divorced because of Alzheimer's. One medical ethicist said Robertson's view on the matter gives permission for the caregiver to move on, but does not take into consideration the patient.

On the other hand, others have opined that a patient in the advanced stages of mental decline is not the same person who was healthy, since the affliction may change their temperaments, feelings and ways of thinking. Former Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor, for example, has said that she was not hurt when her husband, who had severe Alzheimer's, fell in love with a woman at his care facility. She said the disease had taken away his memories and since he did not know he was married and no longer could recall his wife, it was okay for him to develop feelings for someone else.

This might be a situation which, at present, has no clear answer. What are your thoughts? Is it okay to divorce your spouse because Alzheimer's has taken away the person you know and love, or does a diagnosis of Alzheimer's or dementia mean the person you said you'd stick with through thick and thin needs you more than ever?

Source: The New York Times, "Pat Robertson's remakrs on Alzheimer's stir passions," Erik Eckholm, Sept. 16, 2011.