Colorado Divorce Lawyer Blog | Denver Family Law | CO Custody and Support

Does divorce come with more pain for younger couples?

2012-02-03T21:55:37Z

A new study suggests that going through a divorce at a younger age may cause more pain than divorcing later in life.

The Huffington Post recently reported on a Michigan State University study of 1,282 participants, some of whom stayed married throughout the study and some who went through divorce. According to the study's results, among the group of participants who divorced, those who ended their marriages at a younger age generally suffered more health issues.

]]> The study's author says that the results surprised her. In a statement released from Michigan State, the author expected younger people to be more comfortable with divorce and, therefore, less harmed by it. That seems to not be the case.

There are several possible reasons why younger people seem to suffer more after divorce. One suggestion is that older people might have stayed in a bad marriage for such a long time that when they finally do divorce, they feel relief. Older people with more life experiences might also be better able to cope with the stress of going through a divorce.

Of course, the study's results shouldn't persuade young people to stay in a marriage that isn't working or is unhealthy. Not all young people who divorce will suffer health problems or depression. For many, ending a bad relationship can provide them with an emotional boost.

Asking for a divorce is a serious decision. It's rarely easy for anyone, no matter the age. What matters most is that couples make the best decisions for themselves and their children, no matter their ages.

Source

The Huffington Post: "Divorce Study: Splitting More Painful At Younger Age," Jan. 30, 2012

Will Heidi Klum's assets be protected in divorce?

2012-01-30T16:07:16Z

It's a common question, especially with regards to a high-asset divorce. We've recently seen in a different celebrity case how not having a prenuptial agreement can put the highest earning spouse's bottom line at risk. Remember how Katy Perry's short marriage to Russell Brand could cost her half of her worth?

That recent divorce matter has some questioning whether supermodel Heidi Klum will face a similar fate in her divorce from Seal. While Seal has had musical success, his business success has not matched Klum's throughout the course of their nearly seven-year marriage. So, will Seal be getting out of this divorce with much of what Klum has earned through her booming career?

]]> The answer to that question will largely depend upon whether Klum and Seal created a prenuptial agreement. Sources have not yet confirmed the existence or nonexistence of such a contract, but common sense would tell us that, of course, this couple would have a prenup. There's too much money on the line to not want to protect it.

Forbes estimates that Klum is worth between $50 and $70 million. She's made money through her modeling, her work on Project Runway and more. Sources estimate that Seal is worth $15 million at the most. His recent albums have been relatively unsuccessful, including the one that had a duet with Seal and his soon-to-be ex, Klum.

We will continue to follow this story and post an update when we learn of developments related to the celebrity couple's division of assets.

Source

Forbes: "Heidi Klum And Seal Divorce: How Much Is At Stake?" Anderson Antunes, Jan. 26, 2012

Colorado senator calls off 'cooling off' period for divorce

2012-01-26T16:16:18Z

In a prior post, we discussed a controversial legislative proposal that a Republican lawmaker supported. The measure would have required a sort of "cooling period" before couples with young children could divorce in Colorado.

Unsurprisingly, the proposal caused quite an uproar in not just the Colorado community but within the nation. People from the average family to family law attorneys were questioning whether the government should have a say in putting adults' decisions regarding their family on hold. There is an update to the matter in Colorado.

]]> According to The Huffington Post, the senator behind the measure heard the uproar that his bill created and he responded. Earlier this month, he decided to not move forward with the "cooling off" bill, due to the passionate response against his family law ideas.

As a reminder, the bill would have sought to require training for parents with minor kids that prepared them for the impact that divorce can have on children. Then, as we mentioned earlier, couples would have to wait a certain amount of time before being able to file for divorce, time that supposedly could have helped them see the light and perhaps save their marriage.

These are heated political times. People in Colorado and throughout the country are growingly skeptical about the government and likely don't see that adding more government regulations into family law would create a better system or family dynamic. For most people, getting a divorce is not an easy decision, and they don't feel like they need the government and a government-hired trainer judging their decisions.

Source

The Huffington Post: "No Cooling Off For Divorcing Couples In Colorado," Mandy Walker, Jan. 19, 2012

Asset division in Kobe Bryant's divorce begins

2012-01-23T01:12:52Z

In a previous post, we shared that star basketball player Kobe Bryant and his wife Vanessa are in the process of a divorce. Their split is definitely a high-asset divorce, with Kobe making money still as a professional athlete and also off of advertising deals.

Because Kobe does earn so much in his professional life, the public was surprised to find out that the couple never created a prenuptial agreement. The marital contract would have allowed Kobe a method of asset protection, though perhaps he didn't and still doesn't see Vanessa as someone from whom to protect his, or their, property.

]]> Compared to other divorces, especially high-asset celebrity divorces, the Bryant divorce has remained relatively private and seemingly amicable. Some critics have suggested that Vanessa strategized the timing of this divorce in order to get more out of property division. But because the Bryants have reportedly agreed to keep the process of their divorce private, that idea is mere conjecture.

A person or a couple can have various reasons for waiting to divorce. And for many women who don't work outside of the home, financial security is no shameful motivation for strategizing the out. So far, according to sources, Vanessa has gotten three pieces of her family's real estate out of the divorce process, which together are worth an estimated $18 million.

Details regarding the rest of the community property are not available. Vanessa is entitled to half of what their state, California, considers to be marital assets. Essentially, she has the legal right to be able to live at the standard of living that she enjoyed during her marriage.

Source

The Los Angeles Times: "Kobe Bryant divorce: Wife Vanessa gets $18.8 million in property," Jan. 21, 2012

Pop star Katy Perry makes popular marriage mistake

2012-01-19T15:55:36Z

The head versus the heart: is it really unromantic to discuss prenuptial agreements? Recent high profile divorces remind us that the wealthy have their own problems with post-marital division of property. Katy Perry, for example, could lose half of her fortune to a marriage that lasted a year.

Their experience teaches the rest of us some valuable lessons.

When the heart governs prenuptial behaviors, the economic partnership is ignored, financially protective ground rules never established. Would you work for a month and then ask how much your paycheck is? There are certain financial facts we all should understand out of the need to be economically stable.

]]> Marital disharmony often begins with one of two topics: children or money. The dating and engagement period exist to negotiate these issues; yet, very few couples actually formalize the discussion. Whether Perry and Brand ever even discussed a prenuptial agreement has not been confirmed. We do know, however, that they don't have one, and that means that Brand could get about $20 million in the divorce.

People tend to believe their own family history, rituals and financial management are the norm. They expect everyone operates in the same fashion. This universal self-deception leads to the discomfort in discussing truly fundamental strategies like economics or family planning.

The wedding event generally garners a more in-depth conversation than the marriage plan. Half of all marriages end in divorce. Logically, more than half suffer from poor planning and miscommunications. Of course, the toughest conversation of all regards exit strategies, including property division.

When two people marry, they form a third entity, the marriage. However, they remain two individuals as well. Each individual needs to protect themselves to some degree, especially if one is far wealthier than the other.

You will discuss these issues at some point. Why not prior to the wedding? Whether you negotiate a formal prenuptial agreement or just hash out a "business" plan, discover what areas of agreement and disagreement exist, and how they are to be nurtured or resolved.

The head or the heart: you're going to need them both.

Source

Forbes: "Putting Romance Before Pre-Nup Put Katy Perry's Fortune at Risk," Victoria Pynchon, Jan. 18, 2012

Social Security benefits: Are you benefiting enough post-divorce?

2012-01-18T17:28:15Z

According to The Wall Street Journal, today it is more common for couples going through a divorce to discuss Social Security benefits during the property division process. But in the past, apparently that complex yet important discussion might not have been so common.

This could mean that those who have divorced in the past could have a valuable reason to revisit the financial details of their split. The reassessment could mean a significant difference in the amount of financial security that the least-earning partner could get out of the divorce.

]]> The WSJ reports that exes who fit into the following situations should look into possible extra income from their exes' Social Security benefits:

Those whose marriages lasted at least 10 years
Those who are 62 and older and whose ex is currently collecting from his or her Social Security
Those who are 62 and over, whose ex is 62 or over, have been divorced for at least two years and whose ex is not yet collecting benefits
Those who are over 60 and whose spouse passed away
Those whose spouse didn't collect on Social Security until after full retirement

This all likely sounds a bit complicated, but sometimes what's worth fighting for can be complex. Financial security is hard to come by these days, not just for the divorced but for many couples that bring in two incomes. Social Security benefits could provide the extra income that a single person needs to live out the happier life she was hoping for when she got a divorce.

Beyond the aspect of being helpful, however, is the idea of getting what one is owed. The situations listed above were made rules because the system believes that a spouse is owed a certain amount in assets for being half of a marriage that saw such assets accumulate. It can be daunting to revisit the terms of a divorce, but if someone believes that she has missed out on some form of financial security, she shouldn't hesitate to contact a family law attorney and weigh her options.

Source

The Wall Street Journal: "When a Divorce Pays Off," Ellen E. Schultz, Jan. 14, 2012

A brain injury can significantly change a marriage

2012-01-12T16:50:21Z

Since the attack at an Arizona supermarket last year, nationwide attention has been paid to Representative Gabrielle Giffords. She was shot in the violent attack and sustained a serious brain injury as the result of the ugly incident.

The New York Times takes a somewhat new approach at discussing the incident and brain injuries in general. It can be easy to think of a brain injury as something like any other injury. Give it time and treatment and the victim will return to normal. But an injury to the brain is unique and can put a major strain on a marriage, sometimes leading couples to divorce after an accident has occurred.

]]> While Giffords and her husband are still together, none of us knows how their marriage has been affected by the brain injury. And it has only been a bit over a year since the attack took place. Sources remind us that a brain injury is more than a physical wound. The lasting impact such an injury can leave is a significantly altered personality of the victim.

When most get married, they believe that they are saying "I do" to a person who will generally continue to have the same interests and passions as they do when they get married. Everybody will hopefully evolve somewhat throughout the course of a marriage, but the changes that can take place within a person who sustains a brain injury can be quite quick and drastic.

According to reports, there are counselors throughout the country who are trying to structure specific family counseling programs for families dealing with life after a brain injury. Rather than couples deciding to turn to divorce or stick out an unhappy marriage, the sessions would aim at bringing spouses together to communicate about their new dynamic, goals and feelings.

Whereas traditional marriage counseling will often include conversations about why a couple first fell in love, sessions with brain injury victims and their spouses would avoid that kind of talk. A brain injury cannot be undone; therefore, the sessions would look toward the future and at how to rebuild a happy marriage with the new reality between the spouses.

Source

The New York Times: "When Injuries to the Brain Tear at Hearts," Sarah Wheaton, Jan. 9, 2012

Doctor claims his wife doctored up story to gain child custody

2012-01-09T19:01:14Z

When it comes to children, parents can sometimes get desperate. We don't know the truth about one extremely serious family law and criminal dispute from an out-of-state case, but the matter does highlight the drama that can come out of a child custody dispute.

Whether a family is in Colorado or North Dakota, a parent's desire to get their kids out of a divorce can be both admirable and blinding. Sometimes, parents will choose to tarnish the other parent's character in order to make him or herself out to be the most suitable parent. It's crucial that any tarnishing of a parent's character, however, comes from a place of truth.

]]> A father in North Dakota insists that the accusations his estranged wife has launched against him are false. Not only do her accusations put the father's parental rights at risk, but they also have put his job and freedom on the line.

Reports indicate that the wife alleges her husband drugged and sexually assaulted her. As you can imagine, those sorts of accusations speak to more than character and a child custody ruling; they speak to the potential for the husband to be convicted of a crime and sentenced to prison time.

The accused accuses his wife of making up the criminal allegations in order to gain favor in the family court's eyes. At least temporarily, he has lost his medical license. Plus, he faces a possible five years in prison. The husband recognizes that the evidence is there to convict him but still insists that he is not guilty of raping his wife.

During a child custody dispute, it is important for a parent to present information regarding the other parent's character if he or she believes that the child's well-being is in danger. We don't know whether the allegations in the above-mentioned case are true. It is safe to say that family court is not the place for lies. Parents should be able to put up a fair fight for their futures with their children.

Source

WDAY News: "ND doctor accused of drugging wife defends himself," Jan. 7, 2012

Tribal laws can complicate child custody, break hearts

2012-01-06T15:56:59Z

There are many ways to define a parent. Some people have an easy time conceiving, and others go through a lot of expense and stress to become parents in alternative ways. Either way, it is most often a joyous occasion. But imagine you have your miracle, love and raise her the best you can. Nurse fevers. Dry tears. Hold tea parties. And one day it's gone, because a different type of law comes up out of the blue and declares she belongs with someone else.

For one family, this is exactly what happened because a birth father of an adopted girl is of Native American heritage, and, therefore, the Indian Child Welfare Act of 1978 applies. This law states that children of Native American heritage should be either kept with birth parents or placed in other Native American homes whenever possible. Fueled with this, the birth father took his child custody case to family law court and now has custody of the child.

]]> The Indian Child Welfare Act of 1978 was created to keep Native American children from being taken from the tribe and sent to a non-Indian family. Tribal cultures have existed, even among modern society, for a long time and highly value their language and way of life. The federal law is meant to preserve Native American cultures in the country.

A set of adoptive parents are putting up a fight with regards to the federal law, and making every attempt to get their child back. They claim they did not realize the child had Native American heritage when they adopted her from her birth mother about two years ago.

Many prospective adoptive parents, and often their lawyers, don't realize exactly how important it is to ask about and investigate the heritage of a child before proceeding with an adoption. But knowing ahead of time the things that could potentially go wrong will help assure the most satisfaction and least heartbreak with the already emotional adoption process.

Source

Fox23.com: "SC couple fights for custody of adopted child now in OK," Adam Paluka, Jan. 5, 2012

Lawmaker wants to slow down Colorado divorces

2012-01-03T17:43:13Z

In Colorado, a couple can get their divorce finalized in as short as 90 days after filing for divorce. While 90 days sounds relatively short to bring such a formal union to an end, to the people who really feel that they are stuck in an unhappy marriage, that timeframe could likely feel like a painful eternity.

At least one Colorado lawmaker wants to extend that eternity. Of course those who support his family law efforts believe that they are potentially saving some Colorado marriages and saving kids from the impact of divorce.

]]> Sources report that a Republican Senator's legislative attempt at extending the waiting period for divorce in Colorado will work better this time around. In the past, another similar bill was proposed but met obstacles.

The lawmaker backing this current bill says that his legislative measure addresses the obstacles that stalled the bill in the past. His proposal pushes to require parents who want to divorce to go through counseling. Not only could counseling possibly save the marriage, but the counseling would educate parents on how divorce affects children. That way, if they do get divorced, at least the parents would know how to more effectively parent after the split.

A similar bill didn't move forward in the past because safety advocates were worried about situations involving domestic violence and sexual abuse. In this new bill, there are provisions to help families in such situations bypass the counseling requirement.

What do you think about requiring counseling before a divorce can be granted? Does it sound like a wise measure, or does the proposal not give adults enough credit that they know when enough of an unhappy marriage is enough?

Source

The Associated Press: "Lawmaker to try again to require a cooling off period for Colorado divorces," Jan. 3, 2012

Divorce this year changes taxes for the next

2011-12-29T17:51:36Z

Divorce brings about a wide variety of feelings depending on the situation. Some are relieved to be out of a bad relationship and are excited to get on with their lives. Others are saddened by the loss of connection. And for some, there's a little bit of both of these feelings. But no matter how you look at your divorce one thing that you'll have to consider is the changes in your taxes.

If you were divorced in 2011, filing taxes in 2012 is going to look different. Making spousal support payments or receiving spousal support will affect your tax liability, as these payments count as income toward the recipient. Child support, however, does not count as income. Any taxes related to dependents default toward the parent who has custody most of the time, unless a waiver has been signed my the primary caretaker parent, so that the non-custodial parent is allowed to claim the child on their taxes.

]]> If you sold your home as part of the divorce, you may also be facing capital gains taxes, depending on how much profit you obtained through the sale, and how long you owned the home.

Perhaps the biggest change in your taxes is your filing status. Even if you were single for only one day in 2011, your filing status is no longer "married" but either "single" or "head-of-household" if you have dependents.

In the midst of a divorce settlement there are a lot of emotional issues going around, but looking at tax implications, and sorting through what makes the most sense for everyone involved, can save a lot of hassles later and help both people get on with their lives.

Source

The Huffington Post: "5 Money Questions To Ask Before The Year And Your Marriage Come to A Close," Gabrielle Clemens, Dec. 27, 2011

After past Colorado drama, some not surprised by Bryant divorce

2011-12-27T18:18:00Z

The image of Kobe Bryant and his troubled wife Vanessa sitting next to each other during press conferences involving a Colorado incident is hard to forget. A woman accused Bryant of sexually assaulting her in a Colorado hotel, a serious allegation that the NBA star vehemently denied.

Bryant, however, did confess to infidelity, and as a token of his regret, he bought Vanessa a reported $4 million apology ring. She stood by his side. Up until recently. Earlier this month, Vanessa filed for divorce from Bryant, citing the classic "irreconcilable differences" as the cause for the dissolution.

]]> The high-profile couple was married in 2001. While that sounds like a pretty insignificant fact, it actually makes a big difference in this celebrity divorce matter. When Vanessa filed for divorce, she and Bryant had been married for 10 years. In California at least, that means significant benefits for Vanessa.

The Bryants didn't create a prenuptial agreement. After a decade of marriage in their state, Vanessa is entitled to get enough out of the divorce in order to live at the same standard of living as she did during the marriage. According to reports, that means she will likely get at least half of what Bryant is worth, an estimated $75 million, plus alimony and child support.

Some speculate that Vanessa waited for the 10-year mark in order to get out with more from the divorce. What do you think? Did she put the divorce off in order to get more money? If that were true, do you blame her?

Source

Montreal Gazette: "Divorce could cost Kobe at least $75 million," Stu Cowan, Dec. 21, 2011

Unhappily married wait for economic recovery in order to divorce

2011-12-21T17:48:55Z

There are things in life that are more valuable than money. Some might say happiness and security are examples of such things. But we all live in the reality of day-to-day life, wherein the U.S. economy realistically puts limits on our options.

According to NPR, those limits are affecting marriage happiness and divorce trends in the country. Also, sources suspect that the trend is putting more women in danger of becoming victims of domestic violence in an unhappy marriage that they can't afford to get out of.

]]> NPR followed a couple of women who are unhappily married. They essentially admit that if it weren't for the bad economy and their families' lack of employment and money, they would have at least filed for divorce by now. But the truth is that divorce costs money, and they have no extra money lying around.

Some sociologists worry about this trend. It is already unfortunate that couples should have to be stuck in a marriage they know that they don't want. Research shows, however, that during the Great Depression the unemployment rate was high, the divorce rate was low and domestic violence rates were high. With the current economic and marriage trends, sociologists fear that more families are at risk of domestic violence today.

Divorce generally doesn't come free, but there can be options that could make it more affordable for certain families. An example of a more affordable option is divorce mediation. This option tends to be most successful when there isn't high conflict between a couple.

If you or someone you know wants a divorce, it can be at least helpful to contact an honest, compassionate family law attorney. He or she could give you a clearer idea about the process and its cost and lay out your options.

Source

NPR: "Marriage Economy: 'I Couldn't Afford To Get Divorced,'" Shankar Vedantam, Dec. 20, 2011

How to fight for child custody, part 2

2011-12-16T21:27:23Z

In our previous blog post, we began a serious of two posts that offer advice on how to effectively fight for child custody when the matter is one of dispute. Not all parents can get along through divorce and they don't see joint custody as the healthiest situation, so they fight to individually gain custody of their children.

Whereas many mothers may think that they naturally have an edge over their ex with regards to winning custody, that is less true these days. Who gets the children largely comes down to who can prove that he or she is the most fit parent. Gender has little to do with it.

]]> The previous post advised parents seeking child custody to prove themselves as the children's caretaker, live a clean, sober life and to make sure that they are represented as fit parents on social media outlets. The following are some more tips on how to fight for custody, according to The Huffington Post:

Stay Positive

Sure, you and your ex don't get along anymore. You might be disappointed in him, and he is probably disappointed in you. But whatever gripes that you might have with your ex, your complaints shouldn't be shared with the children. A court often looks at that as one parent trying to damage their children's relationships with the other parent. In the eyes of a judge, putting down your ex could show a lack of respect toward family, since the children should be able to have an honest opportunity at a healthy relationship with their father.

Keep Cool

Divorce and child custody disputes can be extremely emotional. But don't bring any angry outbursts into court or into the view of any entities who might have a say in your child custody matter, including social workers, attorneys or other family members. In order to gain child custody, the court needs to see a parent as mature enough to control their feelings. Raising kids is about providing a stable environment.

Listen to Your Lawyer

If you are fighting for child custody, then you should already have a trusted family law attorney whom you work with and who can be a great source of advice. Her experience in divorce and child custody matters should guide your strategy and make you feel confident during the legal process.

Source

The Huffington Post: "How To Lose Child Custody," Jacqueline Harounian, Dec. 12, 2011

How to fight for child custody, part 1

2011-12-13T21:05:24Z

According to a Huffington Post piece written by a family law attorney, many parents involved in a contested child custody disputes needs to take the matter as a serious fight. There is strategy involved if you want to gain primary custody of your children -- even if you are the mother.

In the recent past, fathers have cried out that they are not granted equal consideration with regards to earning parental rights over their children. While some cases certainly do involve a violation of father's rights, research shows that the child custody fight is getting more fair, meaning that both sides need to prepare if they want custody of their children.

]]> The Huffington Post supplies the following advice on how to effectively fight for custody:

Prove that you are a caretaker

Kids come with responsibilities. They are more than possessions; they take lots of care, as any good parent understands. When it comes to a custody battle, a court needs to see that a parent who wants custody actually does the everyday, necessary things that go into raising and supporting a child. This means providing them with food, a roof, a safe environment, education and more.

Sober is the way

This is quite simple. Avoid using alcohol and definitely do not use illegal substances. If you believe that you suffer from addiction, there are ways to treat that in hopes that someday you could gain custody back of your children.

In this day and age, it is even more crucial for parents who want custody of their kids and are involved in a contested divorce to play preemptive damage control. This relates to drugs and alcohol because of another addiction that has become a part of many people's lives: social media. Those pictures and comments that you post on Facebook can come back to haunt you in a child custody dispute. If your ex is able to find enough support online that makes you out to be some sort of party animal, he or she could have the upper hand in the custody dispute.

The next post will continue this list of tips about how to protect yourself from losing custody of your kids. Check back soon.

Source

The Huffington Post: "How To Lose Child Custody," Jacqueline Harounian, Dec. 12, 2011