Divorce can be particularly difficult on a practical level when it comes to financial issues. Without a sound understanding of your marital financial situation and what your post-divorce situation might look like, it will be more difficult to obtain a fair settlement and to maintain your standard of living after your divorce is finalized.
]]> There are some steps you can take to help ensure that your fresh start is as financially stable as possible. These steps will take some time, but it will be time well spent.First, it is important to know what your assets consist of and who is keeping track of them. Spouses sometimes try to hide assets from each other, which is ill-advised behavior that one can be penalized for in the settlement process. If you are concerned that your spouse may be hiding assets from you, it is important to consult your attorney with this information, given how important it is that the court be made aware of your complete financial situation.
Assets can include income, pensions and retirement savings, investments, property, real property, some intellectual property and holdings. A complete understanding of what assets must be divided will both help to ensure fair division during the settlement process, and allow you to understand what assets you will likely have access to when your financial situation is no longer tied to that of your spouse's.
Please check back later this week as we continue our discussion on preparing financially for divorce.
Source: Huffington Post, "Your Five Best Moves Before You Decide to Divorce," Brendan Lyle, May 16, 2012
]]>It is not difficult to see that property division can quickly turn into cage match for Denver couples who can't get along. To be sure, it is important that the divorce settlement is fair, and there are items legitimately worth fighting for. But is there a way to keep disagreements over property division from hanging up the whole process?
]]> Yes there is, if both parties are willing to part with their possessions. Divorce auctions are happening all around Colorado and the country. In fact, a recent news article just discussed one that took place in Longmont, just north of Denver.Divorce auctions may help couples save the time, headache and emotional drain often associated with the property division process. They choose which items to put up for bid, and they split whatever money is made.
Some couples auction off just a few items they don't want to keep (such as wedding rings), and others put up their entire shared estate, including big-ticket items like the cars and the house.
Of course, the decision to put possessions up for sale isn't always made by the couple. The owner of this nearby auction company explains that the sale is sometimes court-ordered, because "the judge got tired of hearing them complain and they would not come to an agreement."
Divorce auctions are not the only solution when property division hits a snag. But they are certainly an attractive option for some couples who want to make a clean break and perhaps a little money at the same time.
Source: TimesCall.com, "Some divorcing couples auction everything off and divide the cash," Aimee Heckel, April 28, 2012
]]>First, the change came as a result of a ruling by the Utah Supreme Court, which overturned a lower court's decision. Second, because each state tends to view fathers' rights differently, jurisdiction can make or break a child custody case.
]]> Recently, the birth father did have his case heard in Colorado court, and a judge ruled that both he and the birth mother will have visitation rights of their young daughter. The man and woman are not married, but he says he filed the paperwork to be recognized as the girl's father a long time ago.He explained: "Because I signed up to be my daughter's dad in Colorado long before the mom decided to go to Utah and let her brother adopt our child, the courts there should never have approved the custody change. But because adoption lawyers there often work with the [Latter-Day Saints] Church, most fathers have little or no chance of winning custody battles."
According to many legal experts, the laws of Utah tend to heavily favor the birth mother in child custody disputes between unwed parents, which perhaps explains the original court's ruling.
The Colorado judge who awarded both parents visitation rights said that before any other decisions are made, he wants to make sure that the little girl has a chance to get to know both of her parents "without putting any undue pressure on her."
For now, the Colorado man is ecstatic about what the court's decision means for him personally and the precedent it sets for other men in his situation. He said: "For all the dads fighting for custody, this ruling will go a long way in rewriting laws both in Utah and other states as it relates to what a dad's rights are, when a mother violates one state's laws to get a child adopted in Utah."
Source: Fox 31 Denver, "Unmarried father wins visitation rights in custody battle," Jon Bowman, April 27, 2012
]]>After considering your own preferences and situation, it is time to meet with potential representation in order to see whether or not their style will work for you.
]]> First, you should inquire about past experience. Ideally, you want to be represented by someone who devotes a significant amount of his or her practice specifically to family law. In addition, you want someone who has been practicing for some time. Understanding the ins and outs of family court is a valuable asset.Second, you want to ask about financial considerations. What does the firm charge? If a client changes representation during the process, how is such a transition treated? How are hours billed? You don't want to be surprised by financial issues related to your representation during the already stressful divorce process.
Third, you want to ask about how an attorney conducts business. It is important to know who would be handling your case, who your point of contact would be and whether or not you will be provided with copies of all documentation.
In some cases, clients are surprised to learn that they will be represented by an associate or communicating primarily with a paralegal. It is also important to clarify how all forms of communication are handled at the firm and how long it takes to get answers to questions.
Finally, you should ask any other outstanding questions that you have in mind. Before you choose to hire an attorney is the time to receive clarification. A good working relationship between you and your family law attorney can make a huge difference in the ease and success of your divorce.
Source: Huffington Post, "How To Divorce: What Should You Ask Your Divorce Lawyer At The Initial Meeting?," Henry Gornbein, Apr. 30, 2012
]]>Given the importance of making sure that you obtain a fair and adequate divorce settlement, finding an experienced and well-matched lawyer should be your first priority when approaching the divorce process.
]]> There are several considerations you need to make when meeting with potential divorce attorneys. Asking a few key questions may help you determine whether a particular candidate is right for you.First, you should consider your own preferences. Would you feel more or less comfortable working with an attorney who is the same gender as you are? Is it important to you that your attorney is located quite close to your residence?
Next, you should consider any complexities about your situation that might significantly affect your representation. Will your divorce likely be easy or complex? Do you have a special needs child or do you care for someone whose needs are unique? Are you facing complex financial issues such as bankruptcy? An attorney with expertise in certain areas might benefit you, if your situation is indeed unique.
Once you have considered your own preferences and unique situation, it is time to sit down with candidates and get a feel for whether or not they have the experience, personality and professionalism that you desire.
Please check back later this week, as we explore questions that you might want to ask potential divorce attorneys during your initial consultation.
Source: Huffington Post, "How To Divorce: What Should You Ask Your Divorce Lawyer At The Initial Meeting?," Henry Gornbein, Apr. 30, 2012
]]>A Colorado birth father was recently granted the right to have his case heard in Colorado, after fighting a several-year battle to end the adoption of his daughter in Utah.
]]> The man's daughter was born in Utah in 2008. Her birth mother relinquished her own parental rights three days after the birth. A judge in Utah later determined that during this time, the birth mother concealed information and misled both the birth father and courts in Utah and Colorado about the little girl's adoption.The Utah Supreme Court ruled earlier this year that the birth father was improperly denied the ability to contest the little girl's adoption. The Court then remanded the case to a lower Utah court in order to determine whether the birth father has properly established paternity and demonstrated a complete commitment to parenting the little girl.
However, the birth father has now won the right to have this determination made in Colorado. Given that birth fathers face some unique challenges in Utah courts, the decision to move the jurisdiction over the case to Colorado is a significant victory for this man.
As of right now, the child's adoption has been dismissed and the Colorado family courts will have authority to determine what happens next.
Source: Salt Lake Tribune, "Colorado father's custody fight moves back to his home state," Brooke Adams, Mar. 21, 2012
]]>However, a recent study indicates that certain factors may lead couples to a higher risk of divorce in the future. Understanding these risks may aid couples in addressing problematic behavior early in order to avoid divorce later on.
]]> The study explored the relationships of more than 130 couples who, during the initial four years of married life, reported that they were very satisfied in their unions. Over 10 years, researchers periodically asked each spouse a variety of questions about themselves and their relationships.Researchers concluded that certain factors were present much more often among couples who ultimately chose to divorce. Those who communicated poorly, were generally more negative and who were less supportive of each other tended to divorce more frequently.
Even though all couples surveyed were very happy in their marriages at the beginning, those with more negativity, less support and poor communication did not tend to last in the long run. In addition, unions containing verbally aggressive husbands also fared worse than those which did not.
The benefits of being more positive generally in a marriage have also been reinforced by a second recent study. This study indicates that being generally satisfied in one's life leads to lasting marriages, and happy marriages lead to more satisfaction with life overall.
Each couple's situation is unique. However, understanding what kinds of behavior may lead to unhappiness down the road will hopefully help you prevent your marriage from suffering such a fate.
Source: The Atlantic, "What Kinds of Happy Couples Eventually Get Divorced?" Alice G. Walton, Apr. 16, 2012
]]>Experts offer many tips for parents looking to foster healthy post-divorce communication with children and teens. Keeping even a few of these in mind should help you start off on the right foot, or regain your footing if you feel that you are slipping.
]]> First, it is important to speak with kids during times when conversation can arise naturally and easily. It is less than ideal to insist that your kids "sit down and talk" in a pressured way. Speaking at more organic times can help your kids feel less defensive about the situation.Next, be aware of your tone and the words you choose. "What happened," is a less intimidating question than "why," for example. In addition, when kids express their feelings, validating those emotions is important. Even if their feelings are hard for you to process, it is important for your kids to know that you want to hear what they are going through and that on some level you understand.
Finally, it is important both to be patient and to just listen. Children do not communicate in the same ways as adults do and may need to take time to get to their point.
Additionally, they need to know they are being heard. They will be much more likely to hear what you have to say in response if they have first been given the chance to be fully heard.
Divorce is hard on the whole family, and children may not have the emotional maturity to cope without some help from their parents. That's why positive and open communication post-divorce is so very necessary.
Source: Huffington Post, "Keep Talking to Your Kids after Divorce," Rosalind Sedacca, Apr. 13, 2012
]]>Healthy, positive communication may sometimes feel impossible. Because children are still developing their social skills and internal responses to stressful situations, they may react to divorce in irrational, destructive or otherwise uncharacteristic ways.
]]> However, it is important for you as the parent to take the reigns and strive towards the positive, interactive and healthy communication that your kids need. An open dialogue, to the best extent that one is possible at any given time, will both reassure kids that you care about what they are feeling and make you more sensitive to what is happening to them.In addition, it makes kids feel freer to bring questions and complex issues to your attention, which they otherwise might try to work out on their own. While independence is important for children, minors who are still developing need the guidance of their parents when it comes to sensitive matters. Even if all you do is act as a sounding board, it will benefit your children in the end to have your support.
Confused as to how you can create and sustain healthy communication with your kids post-divorce? Check back later this week as we continue our discussion and offer tips to get you started.
Source: Huffington Post, "Keep Talking to Your Kids after Divorce," Rosalind Sedacca, Apr. 13, 2012
]]>Avoiding court is often wise when possible, though. Not only do protracted courtroom battles cost both spouses considerably in terms of finance, they can be even more taxing emotionally than it would be to try a more collaborative approach.
]]> One of the reasons that mediation is becoming increasingly popular in Colorado is that this collaborative process allows spouses to debate their way to a fair divorce settlement while avoiding the taxing nature of courtroom drama.In addition, divorce settlements hammered out in court leave all decisions to rest ultimately with the judge presiding over the case. Mediation and other non-court approaches to divorce allow couples to work out their differences in a way that encourages them to determine their own fate.
Of course, it is advisable for each spouse to retain the counsel of an experienced family law attorney, so that each individual's interests are adequately protected during the negotiation process.
Even if a court date has been set and the parties have arrived for the event, opportunity still exists for negotiation. If the attorneys representing each spouse desire to hammer out favorable divorce settlement terms any time before a judge calls the case, it is possible to avoid a divorce-settlement fate determined solely by the judge.
Court is sometimes necessary, but is best used in cases involving spouses who absolutely cannot see eye to eye, or cases involving special circumstances like abuse. In every other case, it may be preferable for spouses to determine their own destiny by debating the terms of their divorce settlement via formal mediation or informal mediation.
Source: Huffington Post, "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Courthouse," Henry Gornbein, Apr. 12, 2012
]]>Family legal issues can become more complicated for servicemembers who neglect to consult with other parents about their deployment and then leave a child in the care of family member or step-parent. Parents should remain in communication to protect the best interests of the child. For servicemembers, it is always important to always be aware of the possible implications of any actions that could affect custody rights.
Stars and Stripes, "Law Would Strengthen Troops' Child Custody Rights," Charlie Reed, April 10, 2012.
]]>For the 2011 tax year, you will be considered single or married in the eyes of the federal government, based on your marital status as of December 31, 2011. This means that if you divorce was finalized on or before that date, you should file as single. If you were still legally married on that date, you should file as married filing jointly or married filing separately.
]]> However, should you choose to file jointly, be aware that you may be held liable for any tax-related problems that your spouse/former spouse has inspired. If you are considering divorce or are already making your way through the process, it may be wise to file separately.If you do choose to file separately, budget accordingly. Tax preparation costs for multiple returns are more expensive than for couples who file jointly.
If you and your spouse/former spouse have children together, it is important to understand that when filing separately, only one person can file for head-of-household status and only one person can claim each child. Generally, the parent who has physical placement of each child more than 50 percent of the time claims both head-of-household and dependency benefits for each child.
Many couples who are both actively involved in the lives of their multiple children will split them up for dependency benefit purposes. If you have questions about any of these issues, it is best to consult an attorney, as child-related tax issues can get messy.
Finally, it is important to stop procrastinating. If you have yet to file your taxes, now is the time. Especially when you are dealing with the unique tax implications of divorce, it is important to get your tax issues settled promptly and properly.
Source: Business Insider, "Divorced Couples Are Walking Right Into These Tax Traps," Mani Woodruff, April 3, 2012
]]>One entity that should be informed when you divorce is your car insurer. Generally, a car insurance company should be informed about divorce within 30 days of your settlement being finalized. At that time, you should also inform the company about whatever changes may need to be made with regards to the policy or policies you hold.
]]> Divorcing may raise your car insurance rates, as many companies provide spouses with a discount ranging anywhere from five to 15 percent. Similarly, any multi-car or multi-policy discounts that apply to you and your spouse may be revoked. Revocation could result in increases of up to 35 percent potentially.Unfortunately, car insurance policies may only be generally applied to one household, so a former spouse may not remain on the same policy following divorce finalization. Nor should a former spouse remain listed on the titles of cars which the other has claimed during the divorce process.
In addition, failure to report your divorce to your car insurance company could result in cancellation and/or claim denial, should you or your former spouse suffer injury or property damage in an accident.
Even though it may result in raised rates, it is important to inform your car insurance company promptly following the finalization of your divorce.
Source: Fox Business, "Divorcing? Break the news to your car insurer, too," Penny Gusner, April 3, 2012
]]>There are ways to minimize the stress that co-parenting can put on both you and your child. Keeping the following tips, advocated for by many health and family experts, in mind can help to make your unique family situation more healthy and happy overall.
]]> First, make sure that communication is open and is, in fact, a dialogue. Whether you choose to communicate in person or via electronics or both, it is important that parents communicate freely and listen to each other's concerns.It is also important that you update each other often about issues where your children are concerned. Failure to do so will put your children in the middle of your communication lines.
Next, be as positive as possible with your children and their other parent. Negative speak about the other parent can wear emotionally on your children. Consistent negative speak can also influence a judge's opinion regarding your fitness as a co-parent.
Communicate with your child's other parent about the rules, guidelines and expectations that your child has in each household. Consistency is important for a child's development. Parents who are unified, regardless of whether or not they live under the same roof, will usually produce children who experience a greater sense of well-being, according to research.
Co-parenting can be a very stressful reality. However, open communication, a positive approach and unified behaviors can make your family situation healthier and happier.
Source: Psychology Today, "The Do's and Don'ts of Co-Parenting Well," Deborah Serani, Mar. 28, 2012
]]>But many Boomers in Denver and across the country are finding love again after going through a "gray divorce." While this is certainly something to be happy about, asset protection needs to be a major priority for aging Boomers in new relationships.
]]> In a recent interview, author and syndicated columnist Tom Blake offered some advice and warnings to individuals in this situation. He is the author of a book called "Finding Love After 50."Blake says that finances, savings and "nest eggs" should be considered carefully by each partner in a baby-boomer remarriage. On one hand, getting remarried can be a significant mutual gain, as sharing living expenses usually saves money for both spouses.
However, it is important to make sure that the couple still communicates and sets an appropriate budget. It is also vital that each spouse's separate property and assets remain protected. Bad money decisions at this stage can lead to the depletion of a lifetime of savings with no effective way to replenish them.
Therefore, Blake suggests that each partner in a new Baby Boomer marriage seek their own attorney for help with drafting a prenuptial agreement. If both partners have nearly equal assets, this will likely not lead to any relationship tension.
However, if one spouse is resistant to the idea of a prenuptial agreement and there is a wealth imbalance, Blake warns that this could be a dangerous sign.
It is inspiring to think that we can find love and companionship at any age. But as we grow older, it is especially important to enter new relationships with our eyes wide open. By taking a few simple but important legal steps, aging Baby Boomers can enjoy new romance while still protecting their nest eggs.
Source: Fox Business News, "Remarrying After 50: Financial Tips Before the Big Day," Casey Dowd, Mar. 22, 2012
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